Corrections to the blogosphere, the consensus, and the world

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Case of the Red-Headed Dwarfs, part 11

Another ludicrous scene occurred while Mr. Tinklebury Snapdriver, for the prosecution, was crossexamining Mrs. Tasker.
Mr. Snapdriver: Your name is Rhoda Tasker?
Mrs. Tasker; Obviously, or I wouldn't be here.
Mr. Snapdriver: I put it to you that you were once known as Rough-House Rhoda?
Mr. Hermitage: No, no, m'lud, Rough-House Rhoda is another lady, whom I propose to call - a Mrs. Rhoda Mortiboy.
Cocklecarrot: What a queer name.
A Dwarf: 'You are speaking of my mother.’ (Sensation.)
Cocklecarrot: Is your name Mortiboy?
The Dwarf; No. Towler's my name.
Cocklecarrot: (burying his head in his hands) I suppose she married again.
The Dwarf; What do you mean, again? Her name has always been Towler.
Cocklecarrot (groaning): Mr. Hermitage, what is all this about?
Mr. Hermitage: M'lud, there is a third Rhoda, a Mrs. Rhoda Clandon.
Cocklecarrot (to the dwarf, sarcastically): Is she your mother, too?
The Dwarf: Yes. My name's Clandon.
Cocklecarrot: I think, Mr. Snapdriver, we had better proceed without this Rhoda business. My nerves won't stand it.
Mr. Snapdriver: My next witness is the artiste known as Lucinda - a Mrs. Whiting.
(Everybody looks at the dwarf.)
Cocklecarrot (with heavy sarcasm): And, of course-
The Dwarf; Yes, she is my mother.
Cocklecarrot (roaring): Then what is your name, you oaf?
The Dwarf: Charlie Bread. (Laughter and jeers).
Cocklecarrot: Clear the court! This foolery is intolerable. It will ruin my political career.

2 comments:

Paul said...

Hello, is there any chance of getting The Red-headed Dwarfs as an mp3? I'd be so grateful, Paul

. said...

Ah. Well, we live to serve - but a couple of points:
1) there was a Beachcomber tv program a number of years ago, which must have done it: I must check Youtube to see if it's anywhere to be found.
2) It's not finished yet: several weeks to come.

Oh, and
3)I may not know how to do mp3s.
End conclusion; I'll think about it, but.....

and now I come to think of it, are you spam? A program that identifies phrases that sound like band names and asks for mp3s? Can't see the point of it if so, but that's what the best spam does. If you are a living breathing someone, of course, my apologies, and we will have a hearty laugh about it some day.

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