From the archives

Life at V*cH*alth towards the end of the Rh*nda G*lb*lly era

JINGLE BALLSUP

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the setting
Not a population was stirring or stressfully fretting.
The agendas were laid in the boardroom with care,
In the hope that the managers soon would be there.

The secretaries struggled to make out her writing
And looked at their screensavers - very exciting,
When up from the printer there came such a clatter
They looked up from their desks to see what was the matter.

From office to office the scuttlebutt ran:
The CEO’s done a new strategy plan!
We’re called to the Boardroom to give, I would guess,
A consultative spontaneous Labontean Yes.

“Rethink our core business, in real time,
And workshop a cross-functional new paradigm;
They may not observe our achievements are padded
If we keep saying ‘excellence’ and ‘value added’.”

Empowerment for all local communities,
But don’t let the word out and spook the Chinese:
Equity issues are vital and weighty;
They’re timetabled in for 2080.

Smoking rates plummet and keep falling faster -
Claim all the credit, but play it down for Jakarta;
The fight with tobacco can hardly be won
Where the industry’s owned by the President’s son.”

And then there emerged from the midst of these voodoos
A weighty report signed by seven tiny gurus -
“Now LEONARD! Now LAWRENCE! Now NANCY and RON!
Up HAROLD! Up STEPHEN! ILONA, come on!

Benchmarked with worldclass good practice in process
We network proactively to a multimedia focus.
No longer we lurk where we cannot be seen - no,
We’ll relocate into the HEALTHY CASINO.”

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