Christening poem

CHRISTENING CHASTENING

Humanity! How oft you slight
Accustomed comforts, birds in fist,
The chance to sleep all through the night
(Or longer, if completely pissed).

You ask yourself just what it means;
Your satisfaction quickly palls;
Vicious enforcers in your genes
Distrain upon your womb or balls.

You put together in a pile
All that you have, all you will get,
And sign it over with a smile
To someone you have never met.

Three people in a household cost
Much more than two; this simple math
Is quite repetitively lost
On couples such as Toz and Kath.

The thought of Weeboks on the parquet
Outweighs the books, the wine and cheese;
Two (count them) incomes, Paddy’s market,
And vibrant local brasseries.

The battering of little arms...
Romantic visions, careless talk,
Then off to pillage cabbage farms
And hold up any passing stork.

Still, though the reasoning may be crackpot,
Toz and Kath have hit the jackpot;
The wonders of the double helix
At last produced a little Felix.

Uncle Chris
January 14, 1994

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