Call me an old grump, but I’d have to be on my second flagon of sweet sherry
Before I coupled the words ‘Christmas’ and ‘Merry’,
Dragging along as it does the whole Dickensian baggage of snow and robins and holly
While we at this end of the world revel in sun and iced coffee and cricket and (by the way, the same goes for ‘Jolly’)
Going down to the coast drinking white wine in the sun with the rellies
And overstuffing our bellies,
So let’s just settle for the maximum this world allows us to truthfully say
As we sincerely voice the benison “Have a nice day”.