I wish

"Rocketed to Earth as an infant to escape the destruction of his home world where his parents had been brutally murdered before his eyes one night in a dark alley, Rob’s ship crash landed in a jungle where he was adopted by a friendly gorilla and raised to learn the ways of the jungle. As a teen-ager, Rob re-joined society and quickly enlisted in the army where he was given an experimental formula designed to create the ultimate soldier. After being put on ice for a number of years, Rob ditched the military and got a job at a scientific research facility where he was unfortunately exposed to gamma radiation, beta radiation, delta radiation, cosmic radiation, and a really nasty bite from a radioactive spider."
Boy, what are the odds on that? Snap!

Ram a fish up

From Daniel Gross, writing in Slate;
"Who better summed up the argument against the welfare state than Lao Tzu, the father of Taoism: "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.""
Why don't these idiots ever google?
LT's view was
"There is no guilt greater than to sanction ambition; no calamity greater than to be discontented with one's lot; no fault greater than the wish to be getting. Therefore the sufficiency of contentment is an enduring and unchanging sufficiency."
This probably extended to fishing.